She’s obsessed with finding a new relationship, she’s on dating apps all the time and ditches us at the last minute for men
Shahir: This one is so difficult. I’m tempted to say end it, because what is this guy saying? You’re about to get married. Keep your comments to yourself. And if you’re about to dedicate your life to someone, why do a few extra pounds matter? I don’t think this guy is ready to get married. But if you are at that stage, you obviously need to have a discussion about what marriage means to you both before you make any drastic decisions. The outcome of that conversation might give you some clarity, so try and MEND IT before breaking off the engagement.
Andrea: I’m leaning toward MEND IT. Does he always talk about your weight? Then there’s a bigger issue. But with a big event coming up, sometimes us ladies tell our boyfriends our weight loss goals, and ask them to tell us to say no to that extra piece of cake for extra motivation. I personally want a partner who knows how to tactfully tell me that I need to start watching my weight. You have to choose the right time and place, but if you choose the wrong time when she’s in the middle of the dress shop, you picked the worst time.
In life, not everyone is going to love you, and that’s ok
My long-time friend got divorced last year after a twenty-year marriage. Since then she’s morphed into a different person. I’m frustrated, should I try to mend this friendship?
Shahir: MEND IT. Obviously something dramatic happened in her life. It makes sense that she’s acting a little out of sorts because she is out of sorts. Have a heart to heart. Say, “Hey, I know you’re trying to find a mate, that’s cool, but we need to be more respectful with our time.” She’ll figure it out eventually. Give her a chance to get back on her feet.
Andrea: MEND IT. It’s not ideal when it happens, but you can communicate this to your girlfriends to the lines of communication open. But to end the friendship because your girlfriend wants to focus on finding a mate? Maybe you don’t agree, but she needs you around to help her if the next one she dates is a dud.
My friend and I have 10 year old sons in the same class and we all hang out together. She’s warned me that her son’s birthday party is coming up and she’s not inviting my son. All the other boys in the class will be going so this is a real snub to my son and my family. I’ve asked her why but she won’t give me a straight answer. What should I do?
Shahir: END IT. As a new parent, the thought of this hurts to the bone. But as angry as I am, sometimes the best solution is to do nothing. This person isn’t worth our time anymore. It’s so rude to say that you’re having a party and then point out that your kid isn’t invited. I say cut ties, no ceremony or permission needed.
Andrea: END IT. No one wants to think about their kid as not being part of the group. But on the flip side, if no one gets along with this kid, why should they get to come to the party? If your child is old enough, maybe turn this into a teaching moment. You’re not going to get invited to every party, but you’ll get invited to lots of other parties and you’ll have a great time. I say take the high road and be cordial toward the mother to set an example for your son for how an adult handles situations. On the day of the party, maybe ask your son what they want to do for their own special afternoon, and have your own good time together. This mother isn’t worth your time.
I’m in the process of buying a wedding dress and my fiance has been dropping subtle hints about my weight. I think he wants me to lose weight for the big day. These comments bother me especially because I’m in the middle of dress shopping! Should I end my engagement?
